I recently up and moved to Seattle, Wa. 

I love being back! I dont know why I ever left in the first place! =]

 Proof I am not in Cali anymore, snow and flip flops so do not go together...

The yummiest salmon chower ever... yes i said salmon



Cosmic "late night" bowling with Terra

Missed my interview @ macys downtown (I got lost)

But just look at that view! That more than makes up for it. 



The drive home from hanging with Ian this weekend =]

"Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway. For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway."

Woke up late today, and I still feel the sting of the pain, but I brush my teeth anyway;got dressed through the mess and put a smile on my face.

I got a little bit stronger.

Ridin' in the car to work, and I'm tryin' to ignore the hurt, so I turned on the radio --stupid song made me think of you. 

I listened to it for a minute, but then I changed it

I'm gettin' a little bit stronger; just a little bit stronger.

And I'm done hopin' that we can work it out.

I'm done with how it feels, spinnin' my wheels, and lettin' you drag my heart around.

And oh; and I'm done thinkin' that you could ever change.

I know my heart will never be the same, but I'm tellin' myself I'll be okay.

Even on my weakest days, I get a little bit stronger.

Doesn't happen overnight, but you turn around and a month's gone by,and you realize you haven't cried.

I'm not givin' you an hour or a second or another minute longer.

I'm busy gettin' stronger.

And I'm done hopin' that we can work it out.

I'm done with how it feels, spinnin' my wheels, andlettin' you drag my heart around.

And oh; and I'm done thinkin'that you could ever change.

I know my heart will never be the same, but I'm tellin' myself I'll be okay.

Even on my weakest days, I get a little bit stronger.

Just a little bit stronger.

I'm gettin' on without you baby. Better off without you baby.

How does it feel without me, baby? I'm gettin' stronger without you baby.

And I'm done hopin' that we can work it out.

I'm done with how it feels, spinnin' my wheels, and lettin' you drag my heart around.

And oh; and I'm done thinkin' that you could ever change.

I know my heart will never be the same, but I'm tellin' myself I'll be okay.

Even on my weakest days...I get a little bit stronger.

Get a little bit stronger.Just a little bit stronger.

A little bit; a little bit; a little bit stronger.

Get a little bit stronger

{{A little bit stronger

Performed by Sara Evans}}
Link to the video below:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22zB6Soc2Gk 

There are times I drive and I'm all tuned into the radio really listening to whats on, and other times I couldn't even tell you at all. For some reason, driving home tonight I came out of my random silent zones while driving to listen to this song. And I'm glad i did. I don't know anything at all about this artist, but this song just hit my heart in the right place tonight.  

Amanda Perez "I pray"
here's a link to the video or the lyrics down below:
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8rtDrDb4oo 

Lyrics: 

[Talking:]
You know with each day that passes by, 

I pray to god I'll never forget who you are.
You mean everything to me.
I love you

Ooh Ooh
Ooh I pray

You were in my dream
Before I even knew that there was a you and me,
Now I can't wait to see your smile,
When I wake up each day,
It makes it worth while
With the kinda love you plant inside,
Specially with a heart so empty as mine.
All your soft tenderness is the one 

thing that I don't wanna miss.

[Chorus:]
I pray,
When it's time for me to say goodbye
I'll never forget looking in your eyes,
I pray,
That I feel your touch
And that God doesn't forget our love,
I pray,
When I close my eyes,
I can still see visions of you on my mind.
I pray,
That I see you in another life,
I pray that you still by my side.
Oh I pray.

Everything that you give to me,
Only comes in a fantasy,
It seems like life goes by so fast,
But in this time I wanna make it last. (I pray)
I hate that we live to die,
But only God knows why (I pray)
We all have a purpose,
And to see you again it'll be worth it.

[Chorus]

[Slow rap:]
I wish that I could stop time,
I wish that I could rewind,
To the very beginning of every second of my life.
To ask God on my hands and knees,
To never let me forget all my special memories.
See I'm only promised today,
And if it's my time to go,
I don't want the love of my life to ever fade away,
So one last time
Let me open my eyes.
To see what my life used to be like.
Oh God.

Some of my all time favorite Quotes from 

EAT. PRAY. LOVE. by Elizabeth Gilbert. 

now a movie (that i have yet to see!) =]

“Having a baby is like getting a tattoo on your face. You need to be certain its what you want before you commit.”

“Imagine his surprise to discover that the happiest most confident woman he’d ever met was actually – when you get her alone – was a murky hole of bottomless grief.”

“Because God never slams a door in your face without opening a box of Girl Scout Cookies, (or however that old adage goes.)”

“How could two people who were so in love not end up happily ever after? It had to work, didn’t it?”

“I have never learned how to arrange my face into that blank expression of competent invisibility that is so useful when traveling in dangerous foreign places. You know that super relaxed totally in charge expression that makes you look like you belong there, anywhere, everywhere even in the middle of a riot in Jakarta. Oh no. When I don’t know what I’m doing I look like I don’t know what I’m doing.  When I’m excited or nervous, I look excited or nervous. And when I’m lost which is frequent I look lost. My face is a transparent transmitter of my every thought.”

“I've been screwed, and sued and tattooed, and I’m still standin’ here in front of you.”

“When I get lonely I think so be lonely Liz, learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience. But never again use another persons’ body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings.”

“I got started early in life with this pursuit of sexual and romantic pleasure. I barely had an adolescence before I had my first boyfriend, and I have constantly had a boy or a man in my life since I was 15. I have been entwined in some kind of drama with some kind of guy, each sometimes over lapping the next, with ever so much as a week’s breather in-between. I can’t help but think that’s been something of a liability on my path to maturity.”

“If I love you, you can have everything. You can have my time, my devotion, my ass, my money, my family, my dog, my dog’s money, my dog’s time- everything. If I love you I will carry for you all your pain. I will assume for all your debts (in every definition of the word). I will protect you from your own insecurity, I will project upon you all sorts of good qualities that you have never actually cultivated in yourself and I will buy Christmas presents for your entire family. I will give you the sun & the rain and if they are not available I will give you a sun check, and a rain check. I will give you all of this and more until I get so exhausted and depleted that the only way I can recover my energy is becoming infatuated with someone else. I do not relay these facts about myself with pride, but this is how it has always been"

"Sometime after I’d left my husband, I was at a party and a guy I barely knew said to me, 'You know you seem like a completely different person now that you’re with this new boyfriend. You use to look like your husband, but now you look like David. You even dress like him and talk like him. You know how some people look like their dogs? I think maybe you always look like your men'”

“Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it.”

"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave."

“I have a history of making decisions very quickly about men. I have always fallen in love fast and without measuring risks. I have a tendency not only to see the best in everyone, but to assume that everyone is emotionally capable of reaching his highest potential. I have fallen in love more times than I care to count with the highest potential of a man, rather than with the man himself, and I have hung on to the relationship for a long time (sometimes far too long) waiting for the man to ascend to his own greatness. Many times in romance I have been a victim of my own optimism."

“This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something"

“I’m here, I love you. I don’t care if you need to stay up crying all night long. I will stay with you. There’s nothing you can ever do to loose my love. I will protect you until you die.  And after your death, I will STILL protect you. I am stronger than depression, and I am braver than loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me."

“L’amor che move il sole e l’altre stelle.

The love that moves the sun and the other stars.”

[{ Was introduced to this song tonight/ this morning and just had to share it, yes its a really old song but just really read and take in the lyrics at the end. I mean... WOW.}]

 

Moody Blues - Nights in White Satin (song)

Nights in white satin, never reaching the end
Letters I've written, never meaning to send
Beauty I'd always missed, with these eyes before
Just what the truth is, I can't say anymore
'Cause I love you, yes I love you, oh, how I love you

Gazing at people, some hand in hand
Just what I'm going through they can't understand
Some try to tell me, thoughts they cannot defend
Just what you want to be, you will be in the end
And I love you, yes I love you
Oh, how I love you, oh, how I love you

Nights in white satin, never reaching the end
Letters I've written, never meaning to send
Beauty I'd always missed, with these eyes before
Just what the truth is, I can't say anymore
'Cause I love you, yes I love you
Oh, how I love you, oh, how I love you

'Cause I love you, yes I love you
Oh, how I love you, oh, how I love you

(spoken)
Breathe deep in the gathering gloom
Watch lights fade from every room
Bedsitter people look back and lament
Another day's useless energy's spent
Impassioned lovers wrestle as one
Lonely man cries for love and has none
New mother picks up and suckles her son
Senior citizens wish they were young
Cold-hearted orb that rules the night
Removes the colors from our sight
Red is Grey and yellow white
And we decide which is right
And which is an illusion?

To Write Love On Her Arms.

[[I totally stole this from Callie, but its ok cuz were sisters <3 ]]

 

 

MISSION STATEMENT:

To Write Love on Her Arms is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery.

VISION:

The vision is that we actually believe these things…

You were created to love and be loved. You were meant to live life in relationship with other people, to know and be known. You need to know that your story is important and that you're part of a bigger story. You need to know that your life matters.

We live in a difficult world, a broken world. My friend Byron is very smart - he says that life is hard for most people most of the time. We believe that everyone can relate to pain, that all of us live with questions, and all of us get stuck in moments. You need to know that you're not alone in the places you feel stuck.

We all wake to the human condition. We wake to mystery and beauty but also to tragedy and loss. Millions of people live with problems of pain. Millions of homes are filled with questions – moments and seasons and cycles that come as thieves and aim to stay. We know that pain is very real. It is our privilege to suggest that hope is real, and that help is real.

You need to know that rescue is possible, that freedom is possible, that God is still in the business of redemption. We're seeing it happen. We're seeing lives change as people get the help they need. People sitting across from a counselor for the first time. People stepping into treatment. In desperate moments, people calling a suicide hotline. We know that the first step to recovery is the hardest to take. We want to say here that it's worth it, that your life is worth fighting for, that it's possible to change.

Beyond treatment, we believe that community is essential, that people need other people, that we were never meant to do life alone.

The vision is that community and hope and help would replace secrets and silence.

The vision is people putting down guns and blades and bottles.

The vision is that we can reduce the suicide rate in America and around the world.

The vision is that we would learn what it means to love our friends, and that we would love ourselves enough to get the help we need.

The vision is better endings. The vision is the restoration of broken families and broken relationships. The vision is people finding life, finding freedom, finding love. The vision is graduation, a Super Bowl, a wedding, a child, a sunrise. The vision is people becoming incredible parents, people breaking cycles, making change.

The vision is the possibility that your best days are ahead.

The vision is the possibility that we're more loved than we'll ever know.

The vision is hope, and hope is real.

You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story.

http://www.twloha.com/

The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but to hold hands.  ~Quoted by Alexandra Penney in Self

Do I love you because you're beautiful,
Or are you beautiful because I love you?
~Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II, Cinderella

Love is a symbol of eternity.  It wipes out all sense of time, destroying all memory of a beginning and all fear of an end.  ~Author Unknown

Love is much like a wild rose, beautiful and calm, but willing to draw blood in its defense.  ~Mark Overby

Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind,
And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.
~William Shakespeare, Mid-Summer Night's Dream, 1595

The past is behind us, love is in front and all around us.  ~Terri Guillemets

Some women love only what they can hold in their arms; others, only what they can't.  ~Mignon McLaughlin

You can give without loving, but you can never love without giving.  ~Author Unknown

You really shouldn't say "I love you" unless you mean it.  But if you mean it, you should say it a lot.  People forget.  ~Author unknown

I watched the movie "reign over me" the other day,and this song totally touched my heart and made me bawl.

Just reading the lyrics doesnt give the song the justice it deserves. Hit play. Close your eyes and open your heart.

Simple Man - Graham Nash: 

I am a simple man, so I sing a simple song. Never been so much in love and hurt so bad at the same time. I am a simple man so I sing a simple tune. I wish that I could see you once again. Across the room like the first time, I just want to hold you. I don't want to hold you down. I hear what your saying and your spinning my head around. And I cant make it alone. the ending of the tale is the singing of the song. Make me proud to be your man, only you can make me strong, like the last time. I just want to hold you, I don't want to hold you down. I hear what your saying and your spinning my head around, and I cant make it alone.

"My entire life, men have been attracted to me. My entire life, when I was a little girl I'd look out my bedroom window and look at the caterpillars. I envied them so much! No matter what they were before. What happened to them. They could just hide away and turn into these beautiful creatures, that could fly away completely untouched. I hated men so much, I wanted nothing to do with them. And then I met you." Patch Adams (movie)

"I told them all the great things I knew about you, and there was a lot. I was up there for awhile. I didn't tell them everything, though I left out the complicated stuff. Like how it took loosing you forever for me to truly find you. And how finding you turned me into someone else entirely. That's not what they came for. People want to hear that you were great, and sometimes not so great. They want to know I miss you. Not that while I've been missing you I've fallen for someone else. Its weird though, I feel like the only one who would understand is you. In a way that makes sense, he was the person you were yourself around. Of course, he'd be that same person for me. Anyway I left out all that, and I kept it simple. I told them I loved you, and that's the truth..." Catch and Release (movie)

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves; who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?  Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small doesn't serve the world. We were born to make manifest the Glory of God that is within us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same." Nelson Mandella